1. You only own three spices - salt, pepper, and ketchup.

2. You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.

4. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

5. You have 10 favourite recipes for venison (that's deer meat).

6. You thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary.

7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled in with snow.

8. You think everyone from the city has an accent.

9. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

10. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

11. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports (primarily hockey).

12. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

13. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

14. Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.

15. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.

16. You head south to go to your cottage.

17. You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.

18. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

19. The mayor greets you by your first name on the street.

20. There is only one shopping plaza in town.

21. The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.

22. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo - it's sausage-making.

23. You find 40-below a "might chilly".

24. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

25. You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery and your Sorrels.

26. You can play street (or more likely "road") hockey on skates.

27. You can tell the difference between a chipmunk and a squirrel from 300 yards away.

28. Shovelling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

29. You know the 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Under Construction.

30. You actually "get" these jokes, and forward them to all your Northern friends.