A man walks into a bar with a big ostrich and a cat. He sits at the bar, and the cat jumps up on the stool beside him. The barkeep comes over, regarding the trio with some curiosity, and says, "What'll it be?". The man says, "I'll have a beer," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have a beer as well", says the ostrich. The barkeep looks at the cat and says, "I suppose you'll be wantin' a beer, too." The cat replies, "Yeah, but I ain't payin' for it!".
So the barkeep pulls three beers out, and says, "That'll be three forty, please." The man reaches into his pockets, feels around, and pulls out EXACTLY three-forty in change.
A while later, the same thing happens, and the man pulls the exact amount out of the same pocket. The next day, the man, the ostrich, and the cat return to the same pub. "I'll have a beer," says the man. "Same for me," says the ostrich, and the cat orders up a beer..."But I ain't payin'!" The man pays each time with the exact amount from his pocket. This becomes a regular routine, until late one evening, the trio enter again.
"The same?" asks the barkeep. "Well," says the man, "it's close to last call. I'll have a large scotch." He turns to the ostrich inquiringly. The bird says, "I'll have a large scotch as well." The cat says, "I'll have a small scotch...but I ain't payin'!".
The barkeep rings up the drinks and turns, with a sly grin, "that'll be seven twenty, please." To his amazement, the man pulls the exact seven & twenty out of his pocket.
As the trio are finishing their drinks, the barkeep cannot contain his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir, but before you leave there's something I must know...how do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket?"
"Well, says the man, several years ago, I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a genie appeared and offered me two wishes." "That's fantastic", says the barkeep. "What did you wish for?" "Well, my wish was that if I ever need to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there." "That's brilliant," says the barkeep, "most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live." "That's right, whether it's a quart of milk or even a Rolls Royce, the exact change is always there. The best thing I ever did!".
As he turns to go, the barkeep calls him back and says, "One last thing, sir...your 'friends' there...we don't get many cats or ostriches drinkin' in here....?"
The man looks glum. "Yes, I know. That's probably the worst thing I ever did, but I'm stuck with 'em. You see, for my second wish from my genie, I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy."